Getaway.

I've been quite busy lately,

done with the passport,

managed to see the girls and went to sunway,

ohh ice skating for 45 minutes haha

attended quya's sister's wedding,

made a lot of cookies for door gifts,

but I just didn't have enough time to go to Taylors,

to collect the parcel,

so I'll write a letter so that mama can collect on behalf of me.

I'll be away for about 2 weeks,

I don't know if it's a vacation because

I know some people might say I'm just 

looking for trouble with such a bad weather,

negative temperature with me being an asthmatic,

flight may be delayed or diverted to somewhere else,

but hopefully everythings gonna be fine InsyaAllah :)

Gonna miss mama and papa so much *for sure*

and the family, the kids,

and of course my ladies,

but at least I get to spend that such little time with them

to have unforgettable memories to be kept.

 

*My lollipops*

will update anytime soon :)

Thank you Allah :)

Alhamdulillah, today is Friday,

a day of full with barakah.

and today remarks the 19th year of my existence.

I'm truly blessed with all the birthday wishes,

knowing that I still have friends to wish me

because those wishes mean a lot to me,

and I'm truly blessed to have a such wonderful family,

now and forever.

Thank you Allah, 

for giving me such precious moments

that i couldn't ask for more,

yesterday and today are both meaningful

days for me.

Despite the fact that I'm happy and thankful,
I don't want to lie to myself because I just couldn't.
I miss sharing this happy moments with the one I used to love.
It may mean nothing to you,
but it means so much to me.
I miss hearing the birthday wish like you did.
It may mean nothing to you,
but that one wish would give me a bliss.
I miss seeing us happy together.
It may not be real or never be real,
but I still do pray for the best for Allah knows the best.
and all that I know,
I still miss you.
I know I'm no longer exist in your memory,
but I know deep inside,
you'll be there forever in my memory,
Yes I still miss you,
I may be your biggest enemy,
but I know, you'll never be to me.
I still miss you,
because we had once carved each other's name
in our hearts,
maybe my name faded way faster than I thought,
but I know, really know,
yours in my heart will never fade away.
Never.



p/s: You can call me stupid for having such feelings, but I'm just being myself,
I couldn't lie and I just can't keep this inside me.

Think again.

Somehow i think you don't really understand patience.

i know why, because you have what you wanted,
you will always have what you desire,
and you can never understand the pain i went through,
never.

if you can't afford to respect other people, 

don't ever dream for people to ever trust you.

if you think you can, well prove it then.

p/s: just have this in mind because I always do, Allah is just, 

you may lose everything in splits second.

Restless.

okay i'm freaking out now.

talked to mama how nervous i am,

and you know how mothers would reply,

'ala everythings gonna be fine, 

Allah knows whats best for you

doa byk2' anddd so onnnn...

since the results will be released on thursday morning,

i guess i'll be just staying at home miserably,

hoping for the best.

p/s: i think i need papa's help to do the clicking -.-

Candy.

Candy on repeat mode forever.

I wish I could utter those words without contemplating.

Something to say.

 So let me start with something good.

I hope it's not too late to say Salam Maal Hijrah.

Just came back from usrah and I decided to write even 

it's already late and I should have my eyes closed now.

I've been busy for the past two weeks, I mean very busy

that I didn't have enough time to sit on the couch and tell stories here.

and I haven't replied the unimportant messages on facebook or email,

 except those that I think I should reply right after I read them.

Starting last weekend, I helped kak zura in preparing door gifts for the press, 

the door gifts included 3 pieces of choc chips cookies and coconut candies.

ohh I made the cookies hehe, oihh byk tu kena buat cookies because ada 40 door gifts.

but I had fun, and I managed to make some for us :D

On tuesday, Razin wanted to meet me because he lost his medical check-up form

and since he said I'm the nearest to Maluri, so we met at JJ
 for about more than half an hour,

lama la jugak bagi aku yg tak berapa rapat dgn dia haha.

then I called dekno since dah dekat and asked if we can meet up, and she said she's free.

and she called roza and we decided to hang out. it was an unplanned meet-up

that I sometimes prefer, yela kadang2 kalau plan awal2 selalu tak jadi
 and I think it happens to everyone.

so we went out for karaoke (as usual) and had our early dinner.

that was about it and basically I had so much fun with them. 

siang dah bersuka ria, malam kena la buat benda yg berfaedah sikit kan hehe

ikut mama pegi usrah blk dah midnight, blk apa lagi tido la

pagi esok tu mmg bgn lambat la kan, ptg tido lg

since I had no mood to go out or do anything,

I wasted the whole day in the bed.

The next day, since kak li cuti, pegi la maha, 

agak boring bg aku yg tak berapa minat segala pokok

or nak berkecimpung dlm business2 ni, dgn panas terik lg tuhan je la yg tahu,
dgn mama yg tak berapa larat nak jalan, dgn org yg sgt ramai,
dgn si kecik eshan tu mengarut, haih taubat tak pegi lg.

 tp sedihhh, tak dpt tgk lembu kambing sbb nak beratur naik bus panjang sgt.

since I was so tired, I slept early and woke up late the next day

and that night, while I was having fun running on the treadmill, jaja told me that bami has free tickets for ngangkung, because he couldn't make it, so Jaja, his friend; Kak Baiti and I watched the late night movie, balik dah pukul 1 lebih, but for me tak rugi la because it was hilarious :D

gelak la jugak, tak tau la you olss mcm mana.

so tido dah lambat, pagi nak bgn awal sbb kak zura ajak pegi kursus buat website kat UKM

I thought it was just one-day session, but I was wrong,
3 days (friday-sunday) and 9am-5pm,

tak ke boring, tp pegi la jugak, mana tau dpt benefit apa2,
so yeah they gave us free domain, 

I learnt how to create a website, but pegi 2 hari je because
the program on sunday was not so interesting, 

tak dpt cert pun takpe la, janji dpt domain free haha.

oh yeahh, on friday after kursus tu, I went to IB, I bought 5 tickets
 for Natrah even though seats lain2,

Alhamdulillah, the 5 tickets were the last one for Sunday night.
terserempak pulak dgn Ana Raffali tgh photoshoot,
 she was beautiful wearing a modern kurung,
 and we met Umie Aida, she parked just beside Kak Zura's car, yup she was stunning,
lagi slim dr dlm tv haha, andd ohh she drove a cayyene man. apa lg,
 senyum je la, tak la sampai nak pegi ambil gambar dgn dia.

dlm hati just ckp takpe on sunday dpt tgk dia live jugak hehe.

so on sunday, the show started at 8.30pm sharp and ended around 11.30pm.

seriously it was superb! berbaloi2 dpt tgk :D 

story line yg menyentuh hati, and best sgt dpt tgk remy ishak menari! hahaha

erma fatima even said the show that night was the most successful one

the thing that made that night special was, dr mahathir, rais yatim
and ismail sabri were there too.and after the show ended,
we celebrated dr mahathir's birthday,
though I sat at the last end on the right,
but still just 4 seats gap from the stage, so dekat la jugak,

betul2 sebelah pintu pelakon2 keluar masuk, and the lucky part was,

dr mahathir lalu kat sebelah time nak balik, dpt la salam dia and rais yatim,
 tak payah aku nak berebut2 haha. so rasa sgt best mlm tu, it was worth
the money spent yg berkali2 ganda drp tiket wayang.

balik dah lewat, semua lapar so pegi la pelita mkn2.

ngantuk tak ngantuk, balik tu tetap tido lewat, 

bersembang dgn dekno sampai pagi (rasa lain sbb roza takde)

the next morning, I drove back dgn tak mandinya haha,

sampai rumah, mama ckp psl nak beli kain, cerita punya cerita,

dia ajak pegi gulatis, dgn kak zura sekali,
walaupun sebenarnya aku mengantuk gila time tu.

ikut je la, byk la jugak beli kain, tp takpe la,
since dia tgh ada mood nak menjahit ni haha.

and ptg tu sofia call nak meet up, so kitorang pegi la ampang point,
 just coincidence mmg nak pegi bank pun,

so settle semua, minum la kat dunkin donut, it felt different,
 yela asyik dok mkn big apple and j.co je.
and she gave me an advance little pressie for my birthday
sbb dia nak pegi holiday takut tak sempat jumpa, thanks dear,

rasa mcm tak cukup masa nak share stories sbb lama tak jumpa,

kena blk awal, tu pun sampai rumah dah dkt maghrib,

tgk2 kat rumah org takde, pegi masjid, awal muharram kan. tp takpe la,
buat la apa yg patut kat rumah.

mlm tu dah exhausted sgt tido la awal and as usual bgn la lambat.

mama pun agaknya tak tau nak ckp apa dah anak dara mcm ni haha.

Tuesday, which is yesterday, kak li texted me, ajak pegi ikea.

so since I got nothing to do, I agreed. and I picked up my new specs, 

sbb the previous one mmg dah crack agak teruk,
 terpaksa buat yg baru, 

but korang akan tergelak kot tgk new look aku, soon la eh :p

best jugak pegi the curve and ikea, sbb dah lama tak pegi sana,
semua rasa mcm nak beli,

but I told myself I should save the money instead,
so kak li je la yg byk spend, 

and she gave me the ikea wall clock and a scented candle.

balik pun dah dekat maghrib, siap2 pegi usrah.

topic usrah pun interesting, takde la aku zzzzz.

balik dah lewat, in which I should be sleeping right now, but I'm still writing.

anddd tomorrow, I'm sure I'm gonna wake up late,

asalkan bgn subuh tak gituu heee.

Anyway, thats about it, things that happened in the past two weeks.

Sempena Maal Hijrah, semoga tahun baru ini akan membuka satu lembaran 

yg lebih baik buat kita semua,

semoga kita dpt membaiki diri mejadi mukmin yg lebih baik, 

dan semoga kita akan dimurahkan rezeki oleh Allah

 serta di panjangkan umur utk lebih byk beribadat.

oh not to forget, here are some pictures captured on sunday night :)

from left: nabila huda, ziela jalil, lufya, aaron aziz, umie aida, abg remy,

maya karin, erma fatima, sofia jane, susan lankester, fizz fairuz,

sharifah sofia, syarifah aryana and liyana jasmay.

specially captured for roza azaliya :p

good night people :))

p/s: dear reader, sorry if I bore you with my so called fascinating stories.

It's on girl.

Marry you

I'm sorry Bruno, I can't get your piece outta my head.

and I gotta say, I love glee's version more.

but who cares baby?

I think I wanna marry you 

:D

p/s: I can grin all night seeing Sam and Quinn together. Aww :DD

Always.

Dear Allah, 

thank you for sending me the two greatest friends of all,

Aliya and Nadzirah.

and one thing I really know,

I'm thankful enough that we always get 

to spend time together like there's no tomorrow.

I love you both, always.

forever.

p/s: kalau aku mati yg entah bila, jgn lupa kita adalah bestfriend, 

kalau tak boleh jugak, ingatlah yg kita pernah menjadi rakan walaupun hanya satu saat.

Dear you.

lately tidur sgt la tak best

sbb bila bgn je sure disoriented -.-'

its okay its alright

because today and tomorrow i'm gonna have fun with them :D

i miss my ladies like crazy!

ohh, you added me back on fb after so long you blocked me.

dear you, chill, i'm just wondering why

wondering whats the story behind this.

you said you wanna know how am i doing now.

i'm still thinking should i or should i not approve you.

not because i hate you, no.

i'm just not too sure if i have the courage

 to see things what a girl like me doesn't want to see

and i know you do understand this.

i'm a human, still.

and nothings gonna stop me from being normal

in which my feelings are what i care most now.

don't worry, i'll click that button when i think it's time.

who knows the time could be tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?

any time is possible.

InsyaAllah.

p/s: let's just pray for the best shall we? :)

Looky looky!

hey hey hey :D

what's up peeps?

anyway, currently dila tgh modelkan tudung for kak zura's hijab store

i mean not store la, she created a blog specifically selling different types of hijab

we were following Al Humaira's blog and the owner is now a successful woman.

so apa salahnya nak cuba kan? 

dila pun tolong2 je, tolong modelkan itu aje

mana tau ada rezeki, tp tak boleh nak kata jugak, sbb baru start from zero.

we'll see how it goes.

InsyaAllah.

so here are some of the hijab :)

sikit2 lah dulu ye, kalau byk2 nnt tak jadi malu pulak hee

till then! 

salam :)

I'm sorry dear.

First of all, you're a nice person.

thats what i thought when we started getting close.

oopps, reminder; as friends.

no one's perfect in this world and thats the reality.

but i couldn't find any imperfections in you when we spent most of the time together.

rich, genius, you always get what you want and money is not a problem for you.

you seem to lead a happy life, i suppose.

BUT. ahaa here's the but.

I'm sorry.

you're not the perfect person that i used to think anymore.

i found out yesterday that you talked behind me, you cursed me dear.

i found it by myself. 

the moment i read what you wrote,

i was like, omaigawwddd!

seriously i was shocked,stunned.

where are your manners?

i really thought we are good friends, you made me think that way.

but now, not anymore.

and you're just pretending being good in front of me.

you faked it.

tak marah, cuma terkilan.

sorry lah babe, even kau pandai, kaya, dpt semua yg kau nak,

 tp kalau budi bahasa tak ada, tak guna jugak.

kau boleh mengata org, complain sana sini,

 tp kau tak fikir kan apa yg org dah buat baik dgn kau?

and now, it all seems clear to me, the moment that you think a person is nice and kind, 

you should have a second thought of it, seriously.

like the saying goes;  perfection itself is imperfection.

p/s: thinking how I know all this? hah kau kan genius, fikir lah sendiri.

Aidiladha

Ya Allah,

Cintaku tak berdusta
Tak mengenal ingkar
Tak kenal nestapa
Cintaku hanya indah
Hanya bahagia untuk selamanya

Apa yg kurasakan ini
Persembahan untuk dirimu
Kau dengarkan kasihku


Mencintaimu tak mengenal waktu
Tak mengenal puitis
Hanya tulusnya hati
Mencintaimu tak mengenal ragu
Keyakinan hatiku hanya untuk dirimu
Selalu.

Aku bersyukur ya Allah di atas segala nikmat yg telah Engkau kurniakan, 

aku bersyukur kerana masih bernyawa utk

memohon keampunan dariMu, 

dan aku bersyukur kerana masih di beri peluang utk jalani hidup ini hanya keranaMu.

aku berpegang pada janjiMu pd org yg bersyukur kerana janji-janjiMu adalah benar,

bukan seperti janji kami, janji manusia yg penuh dusta.

I will always pray my future will always be full of Nur.

InsyaAllah.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

Semoga pengorbanan kita di nilai Allah walau sekecil zarah.

:)

Scars.

True love?

I used to believe that it really existed

why?

because I felt it once.

but when I've had my heart torn out

thrown on the floor

broken into pieces

I just don't care anymore.

I used to love in a direction that brightens up my life

 but you blocked my way, you stopped me

that I felt my love leads me nowhere.

I know you're gonna say, serves you right.

it's okay.

say whatever you want.

just so you know, that in return I would say,

Alhamdulillah.

Jom?

bila roza ckp psl nak pegi tgk teater, rasa teringin jugak

boleh tgk remy haha

anyway, show time for Natrah is between 25th Nov and 5th Dec.

Perfect time.

Roza Azaliya and Syarifatun Nadzirah, jom!

Kesiannya

Cinta melulu hanyalah cinta buat orang yang lemah imannya. Itulah yang berlaku dalam kehidupan kita selama ini.

Terlalu sayang, sayang hingga bisu untuk menegur kesalahan. Sudah ketara, tapi buat-buat lupa, sudah tahu dan nyata, tetapi pura-pura buat buta.

Hinggakan diri sendiri pun terikut-ikut dan sama-sama jadi buta, gelap gelita.

pening

found a dress yesterday for the dinner.

it looked okay when i put it on in the fitting room

BUT

it didn't look the same anymore when i wore it with the inner

mama ckp mcm funny sikit

kak li pun :(

sbb contra kot colour dia

arghh mcm mana ni

kena cari baju baru la pulak

but i know it won't be that easy to find one.

nak buat mcm mana kan -.-'

going out.

Life as we know it.

Alhamdulillah.

Everything that has to do with the past 18 months in my life is finally over and done.

I'm so glad and thankful enough that I managed to survive the hardships, I tell you the journey is indescribable

and we agreed that no one can ever understand that.

We had a superb dinner last night at Shogun, and even though I'm not a big eater, 

I paid not only for the food, but for the memories too. 

 It was sad knowing that we have to bid farewell especially to Mrs Lim and Ms Wendy( :( she cried too)

and I cried because deep inside I realized that we love each other and we were strong together 

through the ups and downs.

Special thanks to the closest friends I have here,

 Ainaa Kamal, Ruwaydah Raziff, Leyna Azan and Farah Nabilah

Thanks for everything, yes everything, for the memories, you guys will always have a place in my heart.

aww I'm crying while typing this.

Aku appreciate sgt korang, semoga Allah balas jasa korang yg dah byk tolong aku.

andddd kalau aku ada hutang dgn korang, sila tuntut ye :D

ohhh with justification! HAHA 

finally, one phase of my life is successfully survived.

 but how successful I am, wait till December, we'll know :)

anyway, I better get going, I mean take a bath hehe

going out with the girls; Ainaa and Ruw.

Farah and Leyna are going to Bkt Cerakah.

takpe nnt ktrg tangkap gmbr byk2 :D

haihh baju prom tak jumpa lg.

so, kena productive hari ni, bkk mata luas2!

Starhills here we come!

p/s: Ainaa Kamal, badan hari ni dah skt2, semalam overproductive dr pagi, kena pegi urut laa :p

Grow up please.

I don't know if you're ashamed, terrified, scared
or feel guilty
which i don't think that guilty feeling ever existed in you

you might want to spat me on the face

but oh please, listen, you really don't have to act that way.

it's not like i'm gonna say 'hey f*** you or go to hell or something else.

just, grow up.

go ahead and lead your super duper happy life,

thats what you want so bad right?
thought that imma gonna steal away your happiness?
hehh you thought wrong.
i'm not that kind of person who steals away people's happiness just like she did.
yeah just like she did.


Allah is just, thats what I keep telling myself.
and I'm able to put on a smiling face whenever I say my prayers.
Without fail.

You again.

You don't have to act that way, it's so obvious la.

and I'm not that naive like what you think I am.

Maturity was what you were searching for, thats what you told me,

 then show me and act like one.

but if you couldn't, guess you haven't found it, yet.

till when, I myself have no idea.

p/s: I'm waiting to see it, and you know that.

He says she says

You like me. I like you.

Yes let's make it reciprocal.

Thank you veryberry much.

i need something sweet to munch, any cookies or dessert will do

ohh pleaseee.

how about this? :D

and and this?

and this??

this?

huh this?

ahh dream on. mana nak cari la ni -.-

Misery.

I woke up, and i feel inspired. yes i am.

but don't ask me how long it'll last.

and i don't know why, perhaps i had a good sleep?

i said to myself, do something that wouldn't make my life seems prosaic like it does now, just anything,

so that i wouldn't wonder what are the wrong, silly things i did.

yeah i was thinking what i want in life, minus the happiness that i want in my life now and the hereafter.

i asked myself, are they things that i genuinely want to achieve? i mean i seriously need a lot of hard work to get done, b'cos i know i'm not what you call typical genius like some of my friends are, but hey, we have different goals, different desires, different dreams aren't we? so let's just not put critics on others b'cos what you believe may not what i believe, what seems right to you may not seems right to me.

question mark, will i be happy as ever, look better to others if i have what i desire.

then i had this thought in mind, i need to rethink, reconstruct my mind, reorganize everything, whether the i-want-and-need-this wishes are worthy targets or not, that is something i truly want, rather than something i'm being told by others i should want. 

it's a big day tomorrow man, the first paper starts less than 24 hrs from now.

INTENSITY, yeah thats the word.

p/s: Allah, help me please, your love, blessings and guidance are so much needed :(

Yeah.

we were studying and flipping through our notes, and she said, 'lets get a little bit crazy?'

 ohh she insisted me to put on that red lipstick. blame her.

HAHA

here's what we did.

and it was funnn though!

i'm gonna miss them :(

You.

She says; Do not put too much trusts and hopes on anyone but yourself, unless you're prepared to be hurt.

and she keeps saying that whenever I meet her.

well I did. I hurt myself so bad.

I put too much trusts and hopes on you, because I believed everything that you said, that nothing could come between, that nothing could go wrong.

I thought wrong i guess.

In some simple ways, you win and i lose.

but keeping this faith strong within me, in some ways, I win.

I stand strong now because the situation needed me to be strong.

and I wonder are you strong enough if you were in my shoes?

well you'll never feel like one if you never fail life.

I know that every words I say are just adding up your hatred towards me, but I just hope, 

I just hope they won't. 

Take this as something that you should know when other people's life went upside down and yours not.

Take this as something that you should know when you were enjoying life so much and others weren't.

Take this as something that you should know, where I used to say I can't survive, but now I can.

Let's see what life's got to offer me, tomorrow and the day after.

Tak sihat :(

bukan demam, bukan asthma. kalau asthma senang la, pakai je inhaler tu.

tp ni bukan, i know. sakit dada sgt, boleh bernafas dalam 30% je.
bayangkan la tidur mlm mcm mana.

mama kata jom la pegi jumpa doctor, tp dila kata tak payah la, makan je ubat yg ada kat rumah.

sebenarnya mkn ubat tak jadi apa pun, ok la sekejap, nnt sakit dada tu dtg balik.

entahla, rasa mcm membazir pulak pegi clinic. hbs la dekat rm50. berbaloi la kalau mkn ubat tu sakit ni kurang, kalau tak, kena pegi clinic lg.

conclusionnya, tak nak susahkan mama.

insyaAllah, kurang la sakit ni nnt, sekarang ni lebih kpd rawatan secara rohani, 

minum air zam2, baca doa sendiri. baca la apa2 zikir. 

p/s: cuma nak cerita, bukan nak minta simpati ke apa ke :)

Monday.

Monday? Dislike. Full stop. 

because we finished our class at 4pm, and the last subject was maths -.-

duhh i practically fell asleep when mrs lim was teaching infront, yes microsleep few times.

and i stayed back till 6.30pm, rushed back, refreshed myself and i went for usrah.

it was fun, fun that i learnt new things and the ustaz was fun too.

 he made some jokes that kept my eyes and ears open.

and the thing that caught my attention was about forgiveness, either you seek for forgiveness or forgive other people. lets just ask ourself did we ever hurt other people's feelings, i'm sure we did because we're human and we all make mistakes. and from that mistakes, we learn how to fix things, fix whatever that was wrong. i did, i did a lot of mistakes in my life, major mistakes that could even destroy my future. but at one point in my life, i came to realize that those steps i took was not the right path for me, for my life, for my future. yes i took a while to believe that every single thing happens for some reasons that only Allah knows. some told me, its okay that you experienced all of this, you're lucky that it all happened now, somehow you just have to believe that you're lucky, this might be your downturn, but hey, you'll have your boom someday somewhere, and believe that what goes around comes around.

yes, i want to believe that what goes around comes around. 

and from now on, i will. 

Allah knows best.

IDK.

I don't know why, but these past few days you always appear in my dreams. and when i woke up, i sort of smiled. sweet dreams maybe?

I just don't know why.

When i re-check my phone,

I even put your full name in my contact list instead of your nickname.

Hmm.

mainan tido je kan. 

Today's syndrome.

ohh goshh i've been falling asleep like zillions times, and i don't feel any fresher, double eye bags. with lots of books in front of me. i need some refreshment, anything that could keep my eyes open. 

a strong coffee perhaps?

okay i have another 15 days left.  anyway, i don't feel like this is all such a torment, because i have motivations to keep a straight mind, i just need to focus focus and focus. i just can't wait to have the feeling of ecstatic when all of this is over and done.

Dang it, i gotta keep reminding myself.

Pies pies pies

I like it when he says naaiissss, instead of nice. and makes weird faces hoho. i know, lame. 

anyway, i just had a burger for my supper. ohh wait. this is not going to let me gain weight will it? aahh lantaklah tgh lapar bantai je lah haha. had a great time today making apple pie, i mean I MADE IT, no joke okayy :p it tastes good, better than how it looks like, cinnamon and nutmeg are just a perfect combination.

I have high tendency to cook or bake especially when boredom strikes. Mind that.

Classic homemade apple pie :)

anddd we had lemonade while eating this delicious pie.
apple pie and lemonade. PERFECTION.

tomorrow's plan: black pepper chicken mushroom pie.

My thoughts.

been busy these past few days, can't even help myself to finish all the past year papers, i mean all subjects, 

ALL -.-

how i wish i could do so, then i would be contented that i could walk into the exam hall with full confident. but anyhow, with the time left about 17 days, i'll try the best that i could because i believe whatever may come, i could turn around and say 'i have done my very best', at least. 

and these past few days, so many things came into my mind that i could just lay on the bed and think bout them all. and how i wish i could grab a piece of paper and start writing just how i feel. or maybe go somewhere that no one can find me, up on the hill perhaps, look into the sky and talk to the one that always listen to me. The one that truly understands what i'm going through and what i'm feeling inside. The one that never stops to hear my prayers. 

Ya Allah, aku hambamu yg hina tak pernah putus memohon doa padamu, walaupun hari2 yg aku lalui tak menunjukkan tanda2 doaku dimakbulkan. mungkin dosaku terlalu byk untuk doaku dimakbulkan. tp aku tak akan pernah putus harapan dan akan terus berdoa hingga akhir hayatku. Ya Allah, ujian yg kau beri padaku jika nak dibandingkan dengan org lain mungkin tak lah seberat mana, mungkin aku yg lemah, terlalu lemah untuk terima ujianmu. tp sekarang, aku mampu untuk berdiri, kalau aku tak di uji sebegini mungkin aku tak tahu mampukah aku untuk terima ujian yg lebih besar. aku redha Ya Allah, semuanya di tanganmu, satu hikmah yg paling besar yg kau tunjukkan padaku; aku lebih dekat denganmu, setiap detik dan setiap degupan jantungku kini sentiasa menyebut namamu. alhamdulillah hatiku mejadi lebih tenang, dan hatiku lebih tenang bila aku mengangkat pandanganku ke langit yg terbentang luas, subhanallah, kau ada di mana2 bersamaku. 

terus terang, tak pernah terfikir aku akan lalui semua ni, dan tak pernah terfikir aku sekuat ini untuk bangun, mungkin tak seteguh yg org lain sangkakan, tp mampu untuk jalani hidup yg penuh dengan dugaan, mampu untuk terus menadah tangan memohon kekuatan iman. aku mungkin bukan seorang perempuan yg solehah seperti mana org luar boleh menilai, tp aku tahu Allah menyayangiku dan sebab itu aku di uji, supaya aku lebih dekat dengannya, lebih tahu menilai mana yg baik dan mana yg buruk.

Ya Allah, take us in the best way, guide us every single day, keep me close to you, until the end of time.

p/s: I may not exist in your memory anymore, but just to let you know, I've never stopped praying for you, for your success, just like how I've promised, just like how we've promised, and I keep my promises.

Strength.

You'll never know how strong you are to stand up

 how strong you are to seize your days

how strong you are to fake a smile

until being strong is the one and only choice you are left with.

p/s: thats what people used to tell me when i broke down.

I love you papa :)

To this one person that I love, I'm no one in this world without you and I can't thank you enough for that. 

I wonder how my life would be if you're no longer here with us :( 

You made us realized that whatever happens, family comes first.

You made us realized that sisters and brothers are our real friend.

You made us realized that when our days seem cloudy and dark, prayers 

to Allah is all that we need.

You made us realized that happiness means nothing if we don't cherish it.

You made us realized that happiness means nothing if we always end up putting others in misery and sorrow.

You made us realized that happiness means nothing if we are not grateful for getting whatever we want in life.

Yes, we might be happy today, but tomorrow and the day after tomorrow? Its all in God's hand.

Don't be cocky that we're sure enough today's happiness will lasts forever. 

It doesn't work that way. Always take caution when it comes to life.

That's what you always tell me.

Anyway, it would be a long list what you've taught us if I were to write them all. 

Papa, you mean the whole world to me ad you're the best papa in the world!

Happy 61th Birthday to Adlan Shukor.

Semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki

Semoga sentiasa di berkati Allah.

Lala loves you so much! 

p/s: sorry, fever mode -.-

lemonade?

bestnya kalau dpt lemonade time panas2 mcm ni, ohh blueberry lemonade would be refreshing!

Nadzirah's

oh hari ni best sgt, sbb dpt jumpa my beloved girlfriends for 3 consecutive weeks, actually today dekno buat mkn2 sikit, and sedap mi kari tuu siap tambah lagi heee. then pegi karaoke lg, awesome possum! one thing i know, they never fail to make me happy, and they made me realized that letting go is surely hard, but holding on is harder. well that's what we call life, it gives you choices and it goes on. So do i.

Till death do us apart.

what a tiring day. I need to doze off -.-

xoxo

you know you love me

Sammy.

Chord Overstreet

You're not gorgeous, you're not hot, but looking at you just melted my heart. 

sing 'just the way you are' to me every night please?

Forgiveness.

Kemaafan adalah dendam terindah buat saudaramu yang melakukan kesilapan. Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna dan maksum sehingga tiada satu kesalahan pun yang dilakukannya terhadap saudaranya melainkan ‘Nabi Muhammad SAW.

Tiada manusia yang sempurna melainkan saling menasihati antara satu sama lain bagi memperbetulkan kesilapan dan memperbaiki diri menjadi insan yang lebih baik.

Firman Allah SWT:
“Iaitu orang yang mendermakan hartanya pada masa senang dan susah, dan orang-orang yang menahan kemarahannya, dan orang-orang yang memaafkan kesalahan orang lain. Dan (ingatlah), Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berbuat perkara-perkara yang baik.”
(Surah Ali-Imran:134)

“Tidaklah dapat kita mengenal orang melainkan pada tiga keadaan, iaitu tidak dapat diketahui orang pemaaf melainkan ketika dia marah, tidak dapat diketahui orang yang berani kecuali ketika dia berjuang dan tidak dapat dikenal seorang sahabat melainkan ketika kita dalam kesusahan.”
(Luqman Al-Hakim)

Manusia kan,  memang susah nak maafkan org lain, rasa mcm kita pulak yg salah. yg pasti kalau kita maafkan org lain, kena buang ego tu jauh2, hati pun lebih tenang. Ganjarannya adalah keampunan Allah, hanya dgn memaafkan org lain. 

Subhanallah.

Scratch that.

It's bad when people start making assumptions about you, i mean bad assumptions. and i don't want to be that kind of person either. but come to think, people make assumptions based on what they see *to me hearsay doesn't count* I just feel bad because i know you well, i know who you really are and i know you're trapped in the dark side of yourself, you were just confused. I just feel awful. Yes awful. and for that, I'll keep my mouth shut, because the more I talk, the more people think I make bad assumptions about you.

This is what I need to know.

I know.

I know you hate me. but i don't know how much. kdg2 terfikir, teruk sgt ke salah yg aku buat selama ni, tp tu la manusia berubah. and kalau betul manusia berubah, then why can't you see that i've changed, changed for good? good that i want to fix what was wrong. and it's too bad that i didn't even get a second chance. well thats life, we don't always get what we want right. like everyone says, everything happens for a reason, ada hikmahnya. don't worry, i don't hate you, never once in my life. in fact, i pray for your success every time i lift my hands, everyday. because to me tak guna pun nak membenci, cukuplah dgn kain putih di hati ini yg diberi sejak dilahirkan yg mungkin kini penuh dgn tompok2 hitam. 

No grudge, you know me.

They made my day :)

I had a great day yesterday, at least there were people who made me smile and laugh for real, which i didn't get to have one for the past few months. semalam buat mkn2 sikit, for my closest friends, a big thanks to Roza Azaliya, Syarifatun Nadzirah, Ifkar Azmi, Naquiah Malek, Hazman Zohdi. best sgt dpt jumpa korang, pegi dinner lg till midnight. really had a great time. insyaAllah, after final, kita gather lg okay? annddd, our plan of going for a vacation hopefully will be a dream come true yea. I love you guys so much!

best friends forever :)

so many stories and secrets revealed, thanks to them for making me see the things that have blinded me, yeah i might lose something good, but one thing i know, i might gain something even better, InsyaAllah :)