31.12.2011

Salam everyone. So it's the last day of 2011.  I was thinking what's the big deal about it? Who cares anyway? If there are people out there who care about 2011 ends today, probably because today brings back the memories they had or whatever troubles they encountered throughout the year. Some may want time to fly faster and hoping good things would come giving a great kickstart for 2012. Well including me I can say. 2011 has been a great year for me despite the fact that I had so much issues to be dealt with.

Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for everything that has been given to me, for health and wellness granted, for a family to cherish, for friends to share good and bad moments with, and especially for having faith in Islam and in Him.

Like the saying goes, a year older is a year wiser. I don't know what would be the indicator to measure whether I'm actually being THAT wise but I just hope as time and year passes by, there would be a lot of things that I can achieve. I'm not just talking in academic context, but in personal life as well, the level of maturity, the patience when facing problems and importantly the relationship I have with Allah. I just hope, really hope, turning to 21(oh wait I just turned 20 last 2 weeks :D) would give me more space to re build myself, to change whatever bad attitudes or habits that are constantly need to be fixed. InsyaAllah, may Allah ease our journey towards excellence in dunya and in the hereafter.

I just wanted to list down whatever memories I had throughout the year but I had this second thought that it would take so much of my time, considering that I'm being such a lazy bum lately. To list them out and write on papers? Not a good idea, because I know the moment the pen touches the paper, whatever appears on my mind disappears. Oh that happens ALL the time okay.

Simple, 2011 has taught me when facing problems, it's only you can tell yourself to stay strong no matter how many people tell you to hold on. Because in the end, you're the one that can shape your own future. No matter how hard you cry, tears are gonna dry up anyway. Make a move, stand up and build up your tumbled walls. Put your best efforts on what whatever you're doing ( a note to self as well) accompanied by prayers, definitely. These two tools will perfectly work on you. And finally leave the rest to Him. Even if you work the hard way, this is absolutely the road to success. InsyaAllah. I'm not trying to preach here, but it's just a lesson learnt not some bizarre experience pun. Good things are good to be shared kan? :)

So, all the best mate in facing another year coming. Face it with patience, maturity and confidence. You don't have to wait for a new year to change yourself because our mind, our heart and soul need constant maintenance. Don't misunderstand that I'm trying to act like a saint or whatsoever, it's just another note to self juga :)



P/s: Don't say you're no good at being old. You have to be good as you grow older. You may say good things to others but if your actions are not in accordance with what you said, it's just a failed reflection of yourself.

Blessed. That's all I can say.

Dua minggu lagi. When exam's over, I'm going home.

Kejapnya masa berlalu. 9 bulan di negara orang rasa kejap sangat.

Tapi dalam 9 bulan ni lah macam macam yang aku lalui.

Pahit manis yang mengajar aku utk jadi lebih kuat.

Going to be 20 and I'm blessed.

Blessed with what?

Blessed with everything I have. But if you are not, please to feel so.

Because no matter how high you are on life, remember there's always someone watching you up there.

I ain't a saint, I know that. But I bet, each one of us is trying to be a better person. Including me.

Better than yesterday. Better in the eyes of Allah. 

Because of Allah, you are what you are now.

Because of Allah, you have whatever you're having now.

And I have to admit this, being far away from home & family

gave me the greatest chance I could ever have;

to be closer to Allah.

Because at the end of the day,

when you realize that you're lonely, you know that you're not alone.

Allah is always with you.

p/s: When you feel your world is a sinking ship, call upon Him for He is your only savior.

Happy birthday papa :)

Sedar sendiri perangai ni, update blog bukannya selalu. Kalau update post baru, sebulan dua bulan lepas tu baru terasa nak bukak, sampai bersawang agaknya. Anyway, hari ni birthday papa. Sedih sebab tak dapat peluk papa pagi-pagi :'(

Age doesn't matter to me.

Your sacrifices and love that count.

I know you always try to be a good father,

in every aspects. and you are indeed.

No matter how many years we live together, 

I know I can't repay your sacrifices 

even if I give you millions of dollars.

But I promise you pa, I want to put a smile 

on your face, letting you know that

your youngest daughter will always pray 

for your happiness even after you're gone.

I'm no one in this world without you,

and I'm nothing in this world without your blessings.

The only wish I have for you 

is to be with you till the end,

just like what I've promised.

Till we meet again pa, InsyaAllah. 

Happy 62nd Birthday Adlan Shukor.

May Allah bless you in everything you do.

Lala loves you very much.

Mangsa Buli.

SAYA SELALU JADI MANGSA BULI.

LEYNAA AZAN & MAISARAH PUTERI,

BILA ANDA BERDUA NAK BERHENTI BULI SAYA?

-___-

Ramadhan oh ramadhan.

Sedar tak sedar dah masuk 12 Ramadhan pun,
masa dah tak berjalan, masa berlari meninggalkan kita.

Rasa macam banyak lagi benda yang tak buat dlm bulan Ramadhan. Kalau boleh semua benda nak kejar, nak study itulah inilah, nak buat ibadah itu & ini. Tapi Allah dah bagi dah 24 jam sehari, so atas kita lah nak arrange masa macam mana. Ini Ramadhan pertama aku di perantauan, berjauhan dari family. Sedih jgn cakaplah, siapa yang tak sedih oi? Sampai umur 19 tahun membesar depan mak ayah, lagi2 anak bongsu. Tapi rasa macam kat Subang je, sebab hari2 call mama. Tak nak cakap pasal raya lg. Puasa dulu, nak menangis di pagi raya itu lain cerita.

Anyway, another 3 months till I'm back in Malaysia! So excited weh! By the time aku sampai Malaysia, tambah lagi seorang anak buah InsyaAllah :D Current mission, save the money as much as I can! 

Hari ni Mai dgn Leynaa berjaya buat karipap, sedap and crispy! Aku? Plan nak buat kuih cek mek molek tapi end up jadi dorayaki. Hahaha. Alhamdulillah rezeki bulan puasa ni melimpah ruah, the good thing is kat sini takde bazaar and takde lah nak beli sakan and takde lah nak makan sampai perut pun nak pecah. Another 3 Ramadhans here? InsyaAllah :) Yang penting, ibadah kena tingkatkan walaupun aku rasa tak hebat macam org lain, at least kita cuba mana yang mampu :)

P/s: The capacity of your need will never exceed the ability of Allah SWT to meet it.

Pray sincerely. Pray humbly. Pray often.

Don't despair.

Life doesn't offer you happiness all the time.

You'll get it when you deserve it.

But don't despair when worries strike.

It's time to get closer to Allah The Almighty,

He knows best for you, the best.

Never ever loose hope for whatever may come.

He gives you tests because He knows you can take it.

When the world pushes you to your knees, 

you're in the perfect position to pray.

p/s: Turn to Allah, He's never far away, He's the best listener after all.

Nervous. That's the word.

Andddd the battle starts tomorrow!

I seriously have no idea how am I gonna face it,

but insyaAllah everything's gonna be just fine. Just fine.

Doa, usaha & tawakal.

8 days till the holiday begins!

Go.Start.Counting.

p/s: Nothing should bring you down when Allah is always by your side to lift you up :)

My bad.

I saw the pictures of yours and yet, they somehow stabbed me right in the heart.

This happened few days ago and I know I shouldn't be thinking about it anymore, or at least keep it just to myself. And ultimately, I shouldn't be feeling like this right now. I can't help myself but to put this into writing with the hopes that it'll end right here. I'm tired of feeling broken-hearted and overwhelmed. You have no idea how bad I want this feeling to go away permanently. That kind of feeling just come and go whenever I see your names, and what's worst for me? To see those pictures of your happy moments. And the next thing I realize tears come rolling down my cheek, and that just happen.

That's just plain stupid. I know.

Dear heart, please be good to me. I need you and the brain to co-operate this time.

Make me happy, or even if you want me to be sad, logically please?

p/s:  Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me.

Rasa apa?

Mimpi apa tak tau lah nak update blog hari ini. So layan je lah.

Hati tak tenang. Fikiran tak tenteram. Rasa gelisah tak tentu arah.

Ini lah yang aku rasa bila byk sgt benda nak buat dlm satu masa, bukannya ada masalah negara pun.

Rasa mcm tak cukup masa. Tapi bila syaitan dah mula bisik dlm hati, 'ala give up je lah, next time try lagi'

aku start rasa down and terus call mama. Bukan nak bagi mama risau, tapi aku tahu kata-kata seorang ibu boleh buka pintu hati seorang anak utk terus bangun, walaupun dgn ayat yg pendek 'lala kena ingat, Allah Maha Adil, Dia tak bagi sekarang, insyaAllah akan ada masa depan, tapi bkn dgn tawakal je, mcm mana Allah nak bg kejayaan kalau tak berusaha, so kena berusaha, and mama papa tak pernah putus2 doa utk lala'  jgn cerita lah air mata keluar byk mana. Tapi tu lah manusia, ada masa kita kuat ada masa kita lemah. 

"Sungguh manusia diciptakan bersifat suka mengeluh" [70 : 19]

"Dan janganlah kamu (merasa) lemah dan jangan (pula) kamu bersedih hati, sebab kamu paling tinggi (darjatnya), jika kamu orang beriman [3: 139]

Rasanya ramai yg tahu ayat kat atas, 'La tahzan, innallaha ma'anna'

Jangan bersedih, Allah bersama kita.

Jangan sedih walau tak ada seorang pun yg sudi membantu.

Kena kuat, sebab kekuatan yg kita ada itulah akan bantu kita jalani hidup hari demi hari.

So, bila ada masalah nak buat apa?

bila sedih nak buat apa?

Bangun, pergi toilet, ambil wudhuk,

bentang sejadah, solat. 

Tak kisah lah solat sunat ke solat sunat taubat ke.

and berdoalah, bercakaplah dgn Allah,

merintih menangislah.

Allah rindukan kita, sebab tu Allah bg ujian,

Allah rindu tangisan kita,

sebab bila kita senang, senang jugaklah kita lupakan Allah.

Haa, hari ini dah masuk bulan Rejab, bulan Allah.

Jom buat apa yg patut, buat mana yg mampu :)

.

p/s: There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet 
and the only thing left is your heart.

 Have a heart that remembers Allah SWT.

Only if.

I wish I was a good advisor,

because I know I ain't one.

And how I wish I can give good advices when people 

seek me,well when they're in need,

because at least, somehow I can advise myself too,

to stand strong whenever problem hits me,

and tell myself, 'you're a big girl now,

have a good faith within,

seize the happiness,

because when you're happy,

mama and papa would be happy too,

and you know they love you so much,

 no matter what,

even if they don't tell you'.

rindulahhh 2 budak kecik niiii  :'(

P/S: A busy life makes prayers harder, but prayers make 

a hard & busy life easier. 

Just so you know.

I just don't care anymore.

I don't play the same games you play every now and then.

And oh, we never played by the same rules anyway.

So yeah,

PLEASE

P/S: There'll be a point in your life when you realize who really matters, 

who never did, and who always will.

Get it right.

No intention of posting something academically, like I’ve ever posted one. Thinking of sharing my thoughts today, spent 2 hours by the river, looked up and stared the blue sky as if it was fixedly staring back at me. Something came right to my mind; I wish I never knew what love feels like. At all. I know it was way over, and Alhamdulillah I’m over it too, but it would be best if we never met at all. No one would hurt and go heartbreaking. Well that’s all IF. I should be thankful that at least your drama spiced up my life, and ultimately, you made me stronger and wiser. You should’ve known that I take things seriously in life, but perhaps you overlooked it, well that’s fine, maybe you were enjoying life too much that you forgot trough awaits just right after you’re at peak.  Experience is the best teacher of all. So, lessons learned. Don’t let anyone ever promise you they won’t hurt you, because at one time or another, somehow they would.  Oh, speaking of that, a friend of mine just broke up a few days ago, and the moment I knew it, I called her straight away, wanted to be there for her as she was there for me when I was in the same situation. As told, it was the best way to live life and the best way to end lies and everything. I hope too it’s the best path she’s taking. Though our stories may not be exactly the same, but the pain is understandable. And dear love, don’t worry too much, the pain is bearable and time will heal. If I can do it, you’re equally the same, InsyaAllah J

P/S: Every ending is the new beginning

Let's do this!

I need to melt my worldly worries.

GAAHHHHH.

Berries Trifle.

Classic Cheeseburger.

Grilled Whole Chicken.

Lamb Kebab.

Chocolate-Caramel Sandwich Cookies.

zommmmgggg laparnyaaaa!

P/S: Balik Malaysia nak mkn puas2!

Hopefully.

It's getting late and I should go to bed by now.

And what I'm thinking now is, I hope I can tell myself

 when I close my eyes that I've fully digested and accepted

these words by now;

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, 

things we don't want to know but have to learn, 

and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Get a life.

And jackass,

You've heard all the shitty things I've done,

NOT what I've been through.

Right in the face.

Too busy?

 Too busy to stop and think and pray to Allah SWT? 

What if He pretends to be busy on times you need him the most?

Think people.

Pretty much the same :)

I just had my dinner and a thought came right into my mind that I've not been updating my blog for so long, well since I arrived in here in Adelaide. Though practically no one reads my blog, I'll just keep it updated maybe just for myself or maybe for my closest friends if they happen to read this. Well, alhamdulillah life has been treating me good, maybe not in the best way I've expected but good enough to make me stay happy each and every single day. Settling down here was like being a newlywed, prolly more than that hee. We had to start a totally new life, spent so much on buying housewares, furnitures and etc, combination of garage sale items and of course the new ones. But I have to say that we managed to get a very nice house with such beautiful backyard and that doubled the happiness ;) Everything is going well, oh not to mention the lectures and tutorials, I find both are okay, interesting except for tutorials, I sometimes find myself lost in the middle of the discussion, perhaps they were talking too fast? I don't know but we'll see how it goes till the next few weeks, or else I have to find other alternatives catching up the tutes, I really have too. 

Homesick? who wouldn't experience it? Well I do, maybe not too much to call mama everyday or cry when I go to bed, glad that it didn't happen, not because I didn't miss them, but it's just pretty much the same, it feels just like home here, well not totally but I love how I'm living life now, special thanks to my housemates, Leynaa, Mai & Nina :) I just hope Allah will make things smooth for me, especially in my future undertakings. I really hope I can find happiness and more meanings in life here, enough with the heartbreaking life back in Malaysia, and let's just get life going with blessings from Allah, Insyaallah :)

esok?

esok?

ye esok?

kenapa dgn esok?

haishh kecoh betul aku ni -.-

rasa mcm tak prepare je

and yg penting tak excited pun

dulu bkn main lagi kan

seronok tahap dewa

skrg ni sedih rasa mcm nak kurung diri dlm bilik

tak nak keluar.

before pergi ni, so far apa yg rasa nak mkn dah dpt.

segala brg yg penting dah dpt.

eh mesti la ada wish list kan?

tp ada satu je lg wish tinggal,

i don't mean that wish as in items.

it's something that should be happening now.

ohh no i'm leaving tomorrow

and there's no chance of it becoming a reality.

and that one thing upsets me beyond words.

:( 

Yes.

Bug off.

Isn't it a norm that one minute you can get tingled all over with joy

and start to laugh enthusiastically ,

the next minute you know you have the sense

 that you're gonna cry like hell and go all depressing?

well I think that happens to me,occasionally though.

But still,the moment it strikes me,

I'd remind myself, I might want to save 

the hilarity moments for the next day,

in case I have nothing else to laugh at.

Sunday

Met my girls yesterday, and talked for hours, handed over their gifts that I bought, and went to Topshop,their make-ups are in, and the moment I looked at the price, I was like dammit I should’ve bought more in London, the prices here are slightly higher, well that’s okay, I shall save now and splurge later, how’s that? J

There's nothing much going on, just a little preparation as I'll be leaving in February, InsyaAllah.

and I hope there would be more good things coming around to jump start my 2011 and years ahead 

J

♥♥♥

Updates!

Hi, its been awhile since I last wrote, well nearly a month. thats not the main point, what m trying to say is, time really flies, REALLY. But time felt more like a rocket when I was in UK as the day ended at 4pm, and shops were all closed then. Overall, I had such an unforgettable and awesome vacation in London, I would say a bittersweet experience, and I would take so much time to describe each place I went, different kinds of people I met, oh apparently that doesn’t mean a positive point, because some just made my days and some just gave me troubles and made me go cursing all day. And not to mention the weather, yes freezing cold but I love it somehow though I shivered when others didn’t. and I thank Allah for giving me a golden chance to see another world of His creation, and I couldn’t have uttered anything else but Subhanallah, the sceneries were all breathtaking. The journey from London to Portsmouth was great, we passed by a placed called Guilford, and it was covered with snow, all I can see was all white and it was really really really beautiful, felt like I was dreaming and suddenly imagined Narnia, don’t know why. But I was left with frustration because I didn’t get the chance to make a snowman, when we reached Portsmouth, the snow washed away due to heavy rain, but I still found the leftovers at the road side and at the backyard of the house. One song that really, absolutely reminds me of London; Heartbeat by Enrique Iglasias because almost every shop I entered played this song, either at high street shops or factory outlets, be it in Portsmouth or London. Oxford Street? Real superb! I could just spend the whole day at Primark, M&S, Selfridges, Debenhams, John Lewis, House of Fraser, H&M, Next, and a lot more, and of course the designers outlets, we walked to kill yaw!  What else huh, oh Knightsbridge sgt best especially at night, specifically Harrods.  And the rest, sightseeing of course, all the must-go places. I didn’t get the chance to set my foot in Manchester because we didn’t really have much time. Its okay, one day InsyaAllah J  

And I tell you, if you really want the best shopping spree, December is just the right time, plus the Boxing Day (please don’t mind the weather) cause they really markdown the prices!

Alhamdulillah, sgt bersyukur sbb selamat pergi dan balik. 

And thank God that my lips have finally stopped chapping!

J